Blog About Dating

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship will agree that it is difficult. Being locked in competition with your partner makes things infinitely more of a challenge. Once this vicious cycle begins, your relationship is in big trouble. By practicing a little damage control as soon as this problem starts can save an otherwise doomed relationship.

Ambitious, competitive people are likely to find themselves in relationships with each other, where this problem is likely to arise. If this description applies to you, you should really take the time to consider whether or not your relationship is suffering from this problem. “Boy energy,” is something Rori Raye talks about - it is the type of energy that women use to reach great heights. She suggests that we women avoid bringing it to our relationships with men, because it can undermine our efforts to make him feel loved, respected, and accepted.

The signs that there is a problem should be pretty obvious. He will begin to avoid competitive activities, and may become confrontational when you ask him to do little things like go jogging or play a game of pool. When he begins to shy away from fun things you once enjoyed together that involve competition, you can be sure that something is wrong.

There are a lot of ways you can throw off the balance in your relationship. Whether making jokes at his expense, or giving him a hard time when he can’t keep up with you on a jog, these little jabs will make him feel as though you are not supportive of him, and that you lack respect for him.

You need to understand the role that you play in his life if you want to really get why these things are destructive to your relationship. He wants to feel like you love him, respect him, and accept him. When you stop giving him the love, respect, and acceptance he needs, it begins to chip away at his confidence in the relationship. That doubt is poisonous.

Once you become aware that there is a problem, you need to start focusing on the solution. Start by understanding why you feel a need to compete with him. You see, most of the time when women are insecure, we seek affirmation through praise. If you were really 100% secure, you would be offering support and praise to him instead of seeking it for yourself.

This one little piece of relationship advice can save you so much grief! Turn the situation around and ask yourself how you would feel if he left you in the dust every time you went for a jog, or if he pouted every time you beat him at a game. Turn the tables by being sensitive to competitive situations and diffusing them through compassion. Celebrate his victories both publicly and in private. By giving him the spotlight rather than stealing it away from him, you can make him feel like you are in a partnership rather than a contest.

Tags: Competition, Dating