Blog About Dating

Have you avoided having a conversation to a woman just because she was talking to another guy?

Or maybe you fear of getting embarrass if you approached a group of girls with one or two guys with them because you ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.

There are two reasons why guys have a fear in talking with women who were with other guys.

They think that the woman is “with” the guy, and assume he’s her boyfriend.

This shouldn’t be the basis of not talking to a woman. Especially in a social setting like in the bar, where people meet other people. Plus - that woman is not a “slave” of the guy or a piece of property, she’s a human being and is free to whomever she chooses to talk to.

Approaching a woman who is “with” a guy often will make you look extremely confident, and draw out his jealous side, making him look insecure and weak.

The other reason points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception that’s why they avoid talking to woman who is “with” a guy.

Men tend to be threatened by other men, instantly assuming that the “other guy” is stronger, cooler, or somehow more powerful.

This exist in an ancient survival strategy that has been passed through human minds.

In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the more “dominant” person is. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn’t know how dominant the other guy is. The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.

A guy doesn’t know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.

So it’s better to play safe by assuming that the other guy is a threat. Guys that were too bold may have won a few confrontations, but it will take a single loss to end up dead or exiled from the game.

And then their genes were taken out of the “game” so to speak.

Usually the one that can lived long enough to survive and reproduce are those guys that played it safe and avoided confrontation.

The irony of this is that nowadays this hard-wired survival strategy is the basis for most approach anxiety - guys avoid women unnecessarily because they are making false assumptions.

Here is the thing, mostly when you see a girl talking to another guy in the club or bar, she’s not WITH him.

Usually, they JUST MET!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve approached a woman thinking she was “with” a guy, only to find out he was some random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.

I have regrets to those times that I’ve missed so many opportunities talking to a woman just because I saw her with another guy. And this brings me to my first point:

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO HER. DON’T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL EVIDENCE.

You’ll never know until you find out. Just remember to be alert and respectful, because in the off chance they are together, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and start a physical confrontation.

So be smart and wise - don’t just stick around on having a false judgment.

Tags: Dating, How To, Meeting Women