Why We’re Wrong About Self-Esteem

by Peter Julian

You may have heard the term ’self-esteem’ a great deal, but have you ever wondered exactly what it means? Some people equate self-esteem with confidence, self-love or self-interest, but none of those concepts really captures what is meant by the term.

“Self-esteem” can be defined as the value a person places on him or herself. If we say that someone has good self-esteem, we’re basically saying that she sees herself as valuable. In contrast, if a person suffers from low self-esteem, she doesn’t place much value on herself.

Keeping that in mind, let’s move on to the way that poor or healthy self-esteem predicts whether a person will be successful in life. It may surprise you to know that recent research has raised questions about the beliefs that formed the ’self-esteem-based education movement’ of the past twenty five years.

Starting in the 1980s in California, anti-drug programs, programs to reduce teen pregnancy and high school dropout rates, and an abundance of classroom curricula have been based on the notion that children with good self-image are less likely to give in to peer pressure.

The proponents of the self-esteem movement believe children’s self-esteem is most influenced by negative early childhood experiences such as abuse. Many states followed suit and made huge investments in bolstering the self-esteem of school children through education programs, so that they would become responsible adults.

Surprisingly, current studies have found little evidence that high self-esteem is a reliable predictor of future success in general. Actually, these studies revealed that just the opposite may be more accurate.

What I mean by that is that, according to a large study conducted by Brown University, an increase in self-esteem seems to follow successful completion of a goal. Put another way, a person begins to feel better about himself only when he begins to succeed.

Here’s the other commonly-held belief that may have been shattered: since the 80s, educators and psychologists have followed the notion that self-esteem is based largely on the information they receive from their parents, teachers and others close to them. In contrast, the respondents in the 2003 study, and others since, seemed to base their feelings of personal value on how well they measure up in society at large.

Put another way, their social values, or what their society deems valuable, form the framework for whether they feel they, themselves, have value. For example, if the society in which they live values knowledge, and they are able to study and learn easily, their self-esteem grows as they achieve that social value.

All of which leads us to refine our original definition of self-esteem, based on the information we’ve just discussed. Try framing your thoughts around this new definition as you continue to consider the basis of self-esteem: it is how valuable a person feels when gauged against the values of his or her society.

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