Winning Back an Ex Starts With Accepting the Break Up
Rarely are break-ups enjoyable. Even in where both parties consent to the separation, break-ups stink, especially for the victim. But the good news is that these decisions often lack permanence. Instead, a break-up normally is an unintentional test, meaning that winning back an ex happens more often than not. Realizing this fact will help break-up victims tremendously and will save them from saying or doing things they will later regret.
Winning back an ex involves some action on the victim’s part, but before getting into this, victims should first understand some of the emotional stages of a break-up. The two discussed here are denial and anger. With denial, the victim may have a numb feeling or may not fully understand the situation — it may feel unreal. Depending on the victim’s personality, though, denial can last several months or even as little as a couple of minutes.
The typical second stage is anger. This can lead to feelings of hatred, or resentment, jealousy, or any and all of the above. Not uncommonly, victims may destroy joint property like a favorite bench or pillow or even memorabilia like photos that carry an emotional link to the ex. Some may make derisive remarks or comments. Again, this stage is normal but depending on the harshness of actions made in anger, damage to the long-term relationship could impact the likelihood of winning back an ex. Therefore, it is best to tread lightly and refrain from anger as best as possible.
Regardless of what damage, if any, has been done in the denial and anger (or other) stages, all the victim needs to do start winning back an ex is accept the break-up. If the victim realizes this sooner, the process becomes easier. In later stages, it becomes more awkward. For example, if the victim accepts the break-up immediately, he/she may simply state, “Oh, you feel that way? I’m glad you said that. I think breaking up makes sense too.” Whereas a victim who accepts the break-up after saying terrible things to the ex will have to do some back-tracking like, “I know how I reacted the other night, but I…”
The reason for accepting the break-up is simple. Since break-ups are often tests, it makes sense for the victim to do some testing too. Now, this should not sound like a life-threatening risk or a form of a deviant mind-game. Instead, the victim’s test is to see whether or not the break-up is real or will have long-term implications. In many cases, it will not. But in the event that it does, it makes better sense for the victim to understand the reality of the situation sooner rather than later.
The first signs of successfully winning back an ex will usually start with the ex’s surprise when the victim accepts the break-up. Like a trial lawyer questioning a witness, the ex who is still in love will with the victim only takes the break-up route if the he or she knows that the victim will take him or her back. By accepting the break-up, the ex will realize real fast that “coming back” is not an unconditional option with no time-limit. In other words, if the ex wants the victim back, he/she will need to come back soon, before the victim gets too comfortable with his/her freedom.