She Poops Too

She’s so stunningly gorgeous that you’re literally speechless. You muster up the courage to approach her, proud that you’re brave enough to take that first step in her direction. You’re halfway across the room when you decide maybe it’s best to turn back around, she probably has a boyfriend anyway. No. You’re a warrior, you refuse to let the opportunity pass you by without at least trying.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

Shit. You managed to speak those first words but your voice was higher than a preteen schoolgirl. And why the hell are you shaking so much? Is that sweat starting to form on your brow? You decide to follow through with the approach rather than bail out and return to your corner where you first spotted this goddess.

In an attempt to hide your true intentions of getting to know the beautiful girl from across the room, you ask “Do you have the time?” Miss beautiful girl from across the room confusingly glances down at your correctly set watch, then checks her phone before responding with an inquisitive “It’s 3:47??”

“Thanks, have a good day,” you reply before swiftly turning around and power-walking back from whence you came to wallow in self pity and shame (Yes, I used the word whence, bite me).  In the great words of Jay from The 40 Year-Old-Virgin, you have just “put the pussy on the pedestal.” But how do you get past this hopeless stage of admiration? How do you put on a cool front in the midst of a drop dead gorgeous specimen of a woman? You must remember that no matter how beautiful a woman is, she has flaws too. She is just as human as you are and she is as imperfect as Larry the Janitor who works at the post office down the street. The best way to keep this in mind is to remember these three words: she poops too.

Woman are more intuitive than men, they know our intentions before we even open our mouths. It is perfectly normal for a guy to be nervous when conversing with a potential love interest. To be honest, it would be abnormal if he didn’t at least feel a few butterflies in his stomach as he speaks with her. What separates the men from the boys is the energy they are putting out when interacting with women. The most successful guys give off a playful, confident, indifferent vibe. The less successful guys are the ones who clearly struggle with handling their nervous energy. This nervous energy is picked up on by women and makes them feel creeped out. It’s pretty difficult to get a date with a cute girl who secretly thinks you’re an axe murderer.

But what does pooping have to do with anything?

Reminding yourself that women poop automatically puts them in a vulnerable position in your eyes. I understand how immature this sounds, but bear with me. As previously mentioned, beautiful women have flaws too. They have disgusting morning breath, they have bad hair days, and they are just as insecure as you are. The idea that women poop brings them down from that conceived pedestal, it makes them human again in your eyes. With this disgusting, yet useful mental image, it restores your confidence and reduces that nervous energy you initially feel when interacting with miss beautiful girl from across the room.

Even the most established pick up artists and serial daters still get nervous when around a gorgeous goddess. It’s natural! But by remembering that a woman is just as flawed as you are you can get to a point where having conversations with attractive women has no effect on you. So when in doubt, remember: she poops too!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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