Single, But Whole

Happy couples make you sick.  Every time you see a happy romantic couple doing happy romantic couple things, it immediately invokes a sense of bitterness. Why does it seem like damn near every other human is paired up with another but you’re stuck with the person in the mirror? As much as you would like to have someone to go out with and come home to, you should be careful not to rush into a relationship. Being single is an awesome opportunity, and here is why.

One is an odd number, but it is still a whole number. It is imperative to remember that although you may be single, you are still whole. Too often we get caught up thinking that our lives will be complete once we find that special someone.  This is simply not true.  If you are unhappy by yourself, then this will only continue once you finally do find a partner. This attitude of placing your own happiness in a relationship is detrimental because you are putting pressure and unjustified expectations on another person. Happiness is not external, it is found within and it is a result of constantly and willfully choosing to be happy.

Singleness should not be looked at as not being good enough or lovable enough. It is an opportunity for self discovery. This is the time to pursue passions and realize what it is that makes you, you! “But I don’t have passions,” you may say. Then this is the perfect chance to get to know yourself. Do that thing that’s been in the back of your mind for years. Build that business, take that cooking class, shoot those nature photos. The goal here is not to become the best of the best but rather to discover what it is that brings a sense of fulfillment in your life. Of course you could eventually end up being a consummate professional in whatever hobby you pursue, but this is a bonus. It’s a direct result of the time and sacrifice you put into that hobby. People with interests are interesting.

Following your interests and engaging in your passions is what makes you attractive. It’s ironic, but when you pursue something it eludes you. This is why if all you ever think about is being in a relationship, you will struggle to ever find one. When you put all of your focus into bettering yourself and creating your own happiness, you naturally attract people to you. These people are the people you want in your life because the attraction is based on common interests and values, not fleeting shallowness.

We can love ourselves all we want but we still have sexual needs. I hear you. Undoubtedly, the most challenging part of being single is the lack of sexual activity. This cannot be helped. The most you can do in this situation is to dive into the dating world. Dating as a single is a broad topic that I will be happy to break down in another post. I will say this: dating is a tiresome process which can often feel hopeless. Just keep in mind that when you date as a single you are looking for a complement. You need someone with the same values and interests as you. Find someone who wants what you want. You want a casual sexual partner with no strings attached? Find someone who wants the same thing. You want someone to possibly marry and start a family with? Find someone who wants the same thing. You should always make yourself the priority in your journey of singleness. It could take a month or 5 years. As long as it may take, that time should be spent on becoming the best version of you. Patience is key when being single

Being single sucks at times. Actually, it sucks MOST of the time. We are not made to be alone so it is only natural that we feel that we are missing something in our lives when we are not in a relationship. That missing something is love. Stay patient and remember that although you may be single you are still whole.


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