There she is.
Despite the crowded room, she’s the only one you see. Your hear rate increases as does your anxiety. If too much time passes, you will miss your opportunity and she will be out of your life forever; you’ll never know what could have been. Deep down, you know that passing up the chance to meet this woman would be a crime against your self esteem. But what do you say? What’s the best approach?
Sadly, many guys get so caught up in their own nervousness that they never even approach the woman of their desire. They’re worried about what they should say to the woman to get her to notice and hopefully like them. This is the wrong mindset to have. In the event that you are meeting/approaching a woman for the first time, you should not have this mindset that you need to woo her or show her your value. You should only be thinking, “I wonder what she’s like.” You should approach a woman from the stance of curiosity, not blind infatuation. With that in mind, take a deep breath before confidently walking up to her and asking,
“Hey, how’s it going?”
Guys have to get it out of their heads that there are magic words that will make a woman fall for them. The reason pickup lines do not work is because they are, for the most part, unnatural. Sure, you’ve seen those youtube videos of pickup artists walking up to women saying the most outlandish things you could imagine. Sometimes they actually get the phone number and, naturally, some people think this is the way to go. However, it wasn’t what was said, it’s how it was said.
Pickup lines are fun to use if you have the testicular fortitude to not give a fuck. It’s all about the energy you give off. If you’re new to pickup and you don’t have much experience with using pickup lines, there’s a super high chance that you’ll come off as a creepy virgin. You’ll stutter through the lines, voice shaking, brow sweating, just to have her weirded out by your unconfident beta energy. This will lead to you going home alone that night to a bottle of your favorite lotion and your trusty right hand. Or left, if you’re southpaw.
The reason I prefer to open with something as simple as “hey how’s it going,” is because it gives me a chance to gauge the woman’s energy and attraction level. She will either match my upbeat, confident energy with an “it’s going pretty good actually, how about you,” or she will give me an uninspired “fine”. At that point, I already know most of what I need to know. Based on her response, you should be able to tell if she’s friendly and open to conversation or if she wants nothing to do with you. If you get anything other than positive vibes from her, there’s absolutely no shame in leaving the interaction with your pride intact. She just may not be interested.
So remember, don’t get so caught up in what to say to a woman when approaching. Keep it simple if you’re just starting out; do what’s right for you. As long as you are confident in your opening dialogue and maintain a fun energy about you, you’ve won half the battle already. Stop trying to impress her so much with witty lines and instead operate from the mindset that you’re generally trying to see what she’s like. You want to see if she is good for you, not the other way around.