One of my favorite podcasts is undoubtedly Kinda Dating by Natasha Chandel. I truly enjoy the insight given and it helps open my eyes to other dating perspectives. In her 64th episode titled, “Why Smart Women are Single”, she discusses the dilemma of smart women who have a hard time finding compatible partners. Natasha and her guest, Jenna Birch, briefly touch on a subject that I’d like to expand on.
That subject is polarity.
To begin with, the women Chandel describes in this episode are not just smart, they are ambitious and career-driven women. These women are alphas; they know what they want and they work relentlessly to get it. Unfortunately, when it comes to dating, these queens are constantly attracting chumps who cannot keep up with them. They seem to always attract weak beta males and it understandably is a huge turnoff for these powerful, ambitious women. Why can’t they just find a strong man who’s a challenge and can match their drive?
The problem is that these women, whether they admit to it or not, have a masculine essence. The masculine energy is about breaking through barriers and accomplishing goals; it is essentially success and freedom driven. As a woman matures and takes on more responsibilities in life, it is necessary for her to shift from her more natural feminine essence into a more masculine essence. She has to take on a rough, enduring mental mindstate in order to overcome obstacles on her way to achieving the goals she has for herself. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this, it is quite commendable. However, when it comes to dating, it can get in the way.
Masculine energy naturally attracts feminine energy. It is why men are attracted to women and vice versa. If a woman is constantly in this grind mode state of masculine energy, then what would she naturally attract?
You guessed it: feminine energy.
This type of woman will always seem to attract weaker, feminine men: beta males. A man with a strong masculine essence will naturally be turned off by such a masculine woman simply because their energies will clash. The masculine woman constantly has her guard up, willfully ready to destroy any obstacle that gets in her way. This won’t work with a masculine man, who also has the desire to overcome obstructions in his pursuit of freedom. Her tendency to not only stand her ground but fight against any opposition (usually men) sadly leads to her being labeled as “a stuck-up bitch”.
So what’s a girl to do?
With a clearer understanding of how masculine and feminine energy works, this type of woman has two choices. Either she learns how to balance this masculine energy with her feminine energy or settle for dealing with feminine men.
The key to the first option is learning how to submit. Submission is not about being a pushover slave who does whatever they’re told; it’s about learning to let someone else take the lead. When dealing with a masculine alpha male, this type of strong woman needs to learn how to lower her guard and relax into her more submissive feminine energy. When dating, she should embrace the feminine energy which is focused on the cultivation of love. She should save her domineering, rugged mindstate for the workplace. When dating, she should let her strong man take the lead while she focuses on being the joyful, loving, nurturing woman that she is capable of being. This is the essence of the feminine. If she is unable to do this, she must understand that the only other option she has is to date weaker, beta males who have no problems with her leading the relationship.
A woman’s ability to accomplish her life goals and build the life of her dreams is admirable. It should be congratulated and praised. This type of woman taps into the masculine essence in order to get to where she wants to be and has to learn balance in order to have the type of relationship she wants. If she is incapable of embracing her feminine energy, then she is doomed to either deal with masculine men who frustrate her or weak men who can’t handle her.