The Insecure Man

What is the biggest turnoff for women?

From bad breath to arrogance, the list of turnoffs can be limitless. Lately, I’ve been having some interesting conversations with women and I noticed that a lot of the things that turn them off can be narrowed down to a couple traits.

Weakness and insecurity.

Why are these traits so unattractive? What is it about a weak, insecure man that makes a woman’s stomach turn?

To begin with, this is not going to be a post about why self-confidence is so important, because you’ve heard it all before. Instead, I’m going to dive into exactly why the opposite trait is so repulsive.

Women with a strong feminine essence unknowingly desire a man who is a strong leader. They seek a man who can take direction and make the woman feel like everything will be just fine. A strong, confident leader has the mindset that they can achieve anything they put their mind to and that any obstacle that arises can be overcome through endurance and perseverance. When a feminine woman is with a strong, confident man, she can relax and let him lead the way knowing that everything will be okay. He can handle whatever comes their way.

On the other hand, an insecure man will shrink in the face of adversity. He does not have the resilience to bounce back from a setback nor does he have the self-assurance to believe in himself. A strong-minded woman with a feminine essence can never really feel secure with a weak, insecure man. If a problem arises, he will likely become anxious and fearful and this will easily be felt by the woman. How can she trust a man who doesn’t trust himself? Instinctually, she knows that this type of man cannot overcome challenges and be the steady rock of security that she needs.

Perhaps the most unattractive aspect of a weak, insecure man is his inability to control his emotions. This type of man gets bent out of shape easily. This is the man who cannot take a joke. He lashes out in anger at anyone who points out one of his flaws. If you criticize him, he immediately retorts with hurtful insults and fails to take responsibility for anything. This is the man who constantly accuses the woman he is seeing of cheating. Deep down, he knows he is not good enough so he puts up a false show of confidence that often comes off as arrogant. This is tricky because women mistake this facade for true confidence but it’s really an overcompensation for whatever the man feels he is lacking. So when this false show gets exposed he responds with anger, which is actually fear in disguise.

When it comes to a disagreement in a relationship, it can get really scary for women. He argues with his woman instead of seeking to understand the situation and make the necessary changes. This insecure man can’t handle conflict so he raises his voice at his woman and may even resort to threats of violence. A secure, confident man knows not to argue with women because he understands the feminine woman. He knows that arguing with her will only frustrate her and escalate the situation. The man who gets emotional and bent out of shape turns his woman off because at that point, he is acting in more of a feminine state. He is supposed to be her rock, a calm and self-assured partner that she can count on and submit to. With the weak man, she fears that he cannot control his emotions and this scares her. There’s no telling what he may do.

Like I’ve mentioned in my previous article, girls just want to have fun. They cannot always do this with a weak, insecure man because he doesn’t know how to remain calm in the face of adversity. He makes her feel frightened and unsafe because he does not know how to keep his cool. By focusing on his mission in life and striving to always be the best version of himself, a man naturally becomes self assured and competent. He then can separate himself from the emotionally unstable beta male.

Advertisements

7 comments

  1. I love secure men.
    I think secure men show their emotions. I appreciate vulnerability in men. Vulnerabity is a form of courage. To me, secure men open their hearts about how they feel, if they are hurt, if they are in love. I appreciate men with good communication skills who are empathetic.

    As you mentioned, I don’t appreciate lack of control of emotions, anger or feelings that result in violence. That is a byproduct of insecurity.

    However, a secure beta man is just as hot as a secure alpha man.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I definitely agree with your point about vulnerability! I think it’s so underappreciated.

      That’s an interesting point you made about a secure beta man being just as hot as an alpha. I don’t wanna get into an alpha vs beta debate, but could you enlighten me as to how the beta could be just as hot?

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s