What is Game in Dating?

Game.

It’s what separates the men from the boys. Guys who are good with women have it. Those who aren’t don’t. What is game? Why is it so important? How do you develop game? Today I hope to answer all of these questions and maybe more.

In my own words, game can be defined as the ability to polarize a woman and raise her interest romantically. Game is playful and it is direct. It shows a woman that you are interested in her and it shows you’re not ashamed to show your attraction to her. It’s bold, and to women it’s sexy.

Personally, I haven’t really had to rely on game for most of my life. I’m a decent looking guy and that usually gets my foot in the door. Over time, women get a feel for my personality and my playful sense of humor. This depth of character is what makes me attractive to women. However, since I finished school and moved to the opposite coast of the country, I haven’t had the pleasure of being surrounded by women on a regular basis. Now, in an unfamiliar city, I am faced with the challenge of starting from scratch with zero social proof  (See this article about why dating sucks as an adult). At first, I was surrounded by women I knew through school so all I had to do was let my personality shine over time. Now, I actively have to step out of my comfort zone to meet women. Since there’s rarely a case where I’ll see a woman on a regular basis like I did in school, I now have to make my interactions count in person. This is where game comes in.

I mention here that girls just want to have fun. When it comes to game, your sense of humor is your best friend. If you don’t have one, you better get to work. If you want, I can write about how to improve your sense of humor, just make a request in the comments below and I will put that together for you. Having good game isn’t about telling jokes nonstop. The more important element here is showing your romantic interest and escalating.

If you’re a guy reading this, I am assuming you are trying to attract the most attractive woman you can, as you should. Here’s a thought for you gentlemen: the most attractive women have been with more guys than you have been with women. So that means you need to come correct. They don’t want to deal with a guy who doesn’t know what he’s doing. They don’t want to be responsible for escalating an interaction sexually. Women generally want to be with a strong leader. They want to be with a man who knows what he wants out of life and is ambitious and self assured enough to go for it. A man with good game shows self confidence and no inhibition about his intentions with the woman he is pursuing. You may think this is sleazy or too aggressive, but this is what women want. They want a MAN.

So now we understand that game is the ability to raise a woman’s attraction. We also understand that it’s important because it shows your fun side while simultaneously showing your sexual side. But how do you develop game?

Like with anything else in life, the best way to develop game is to practice. You need to be putting yourself out there so you can hone your skills. In every interaction from now on, you should be thinking to yourself, “how can I make this fun?” Keep high, fun energy when you’re approaching women. Come from a place of self assurance when you make the approach and keep in mind that you are a man of value. This doesn’t only have to be done on tinder dates or when you meet a girl at a bar. In your day to day interactions, you should constantly be seeking to create interesting and engaging conversations with women. Don’t worry about escalating just yet, focus on being fun and exciting. Smile often and speak clearly. Nothing shows self doubt more than a stuttering, shaky voice.

I don’t want to make this article too long, I’ve already surpassed 500 words for the day. If this wasn’t thorough enough for you or if anything was unclear, I encourage you to post your opinions and questions in the comments below.

You can be the richest guy in your city or the most good looking guy around, but if you don’t know how to talk to women and increase their attraction, you’ll be sleeping with a bottle of lotion next to your bed at night. Get out of your comfort zone, approach that cute girl, and show her how fun you are by showing your interest and keeping things light and engaging. This is the power of game.

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