blog about dating

Let The Woman Choose You

The average guy has a hard enough time meeting and dating a new woman. In today’s dating world where ghosting is more common than a cold, he’s lucky if he can get to her front door. If things go well, he’ll get a second date. If he keeps things interesting and fun, he’ll start seeing her consistently. Then he gets to the point where he knows he likes this girl so he asks something along the lines of “would you like to be my girlfriend?” When she responds in an undesired manner, he’s left with his dick in his hands wondering where he went wrong.

The problem with this is that the relationship proposal is out of context. Poisoned by romantic comedies and tv shows, we guys have fallen into the trap of believing that we must wine and dine a woman for a few dates then lock her down into a relationship. Sure, this actually does work some of the time, but nowadays it’s key to remember that the power has somewhat shifted. In today’s feminist society, women often don’t even want to be locked down in a relationship. At least not so soon anyway. They want to explore their options and have fun before relinquishing their freedom as a dating free agent. Asking a girl for a relationship too soon makes her feel trapped.

I’ve said it a few times before, girls just want to have fun! They enjoy the thrill of a new romance just as much as we do. Part of the fun of a new fling is the mystery. A woman is intrigued by the mysterious guy she just can’t seem to get enough of. She likes where things are going, and she likes getting to know him more and more over time. So when we bring up the relationship conversation, it sucks the fun and suspense out of it. Remember, people want what they can’t have. A man who’s a catch and is difficult to lock down is irresistible to a woman.

This is why it’s important for guys to prioritize their mission in life. When a man is focused on his goals and progression, a woman senses it. She can tell that this is a man of value and it makes him incredibly attractive to her. She can tell that this man is on a journey and she wants to tag along for the ride. A man like this isn’t concerned with relationship titles because he’s too busy focusing on his own life purpose. The irony here is that this man who isn’t concerned with women is the man who has plenty of dating options.

Let the woman be the one to bring up the relationship. Your job as the man is to show her how much of a catch you are by showing her a good time and letting your personality shine. She will be the one to let you know when she is ready to make it official. If a relationship is what she wants, she will be the one asking “so, what are we doing? Where is this going?” When she asks questions like that, then you know you’ve done all of the right things. Until then, you just sit back, relax and show her a good time.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a man wanting a relationship. It just shouldn’t be his first priority. If you are doing all the right things, the woman you are dating will ask YOU for a relationship. She will be able to tell that you are a rare breed of man and will want you to herself after recognizing your high value. Focus on being a better you, and let her do the choosing.

The Insecure Man

What is the biggest turnoff for women?

From bad breath to arrogance, the list of turnoffs can be limitless. Lately, I’ve been having some interesting conversations with women and I noticed that a lot of the things that turn them off can be narrowed down to a couple traits.

Weakness and insecurity.

Why are these traits so unattractive? What is it about a weak, insecure man that makes a woman’s stomach turn?

To begin with, this is not going to be a post about why self-confidence is so important, because you’ve heard it all before. Instead, I’m going to dive into exactly why the opposite trait is so repulsive.

Women with a strong feminine essence unknowingly desire a man who is a strong leader. They seek a man who can take direction and make the woman feel like everything will be just fine. A strong, confident leader has the mindset that they can achieve anything they put their mind to and that any obstacle that arises can be overcome through endurance and perseverance. When a feminine woman is with a strong, confident man, she can relax and let him lead the way knowing that everything will be okay. He can handle whatever comes their way.

On the other hand, an insecure man will shrink in the face of adversity. He does not have the resilience to bounce back from a setback nor does he have the self-assurance to believe in himself. A strong-minded woman with a feminine essence can never really feel secure with a weak, insecure man. If a problem arises, he will likely become anxious and fearful and this will easily be felt by the woman. How can she trust a man who doesn’t trust himself? Instinctually, she knows that this type of man cannot overcome challenges and be the steady rock of security that she needs.

Perhaps the most unattractive aspect of a weak, insecure man is his inability to control his emotions. This type of man gets bent out of shape easily. This is the man who cannot take a joke. He lashes out in anger at anyone who points out one of his flaws. If you criticize him, he immediately retorts with hurtful insults and fails to take responsibility for anything. This is the man who constantly accuses the woman he is seeing of cheating. Deep down, he knows he is not good enough so he puts up a false show of confidence that often comes off as arrogant. This is tricky because women mistake this facade for true confidence but it’s really an overcompensation for whatever the man feels he is lacking. So when this false show gets exposed he responds with anger, which is actually fear in disguise.

When it comes to a disagreement in a relationship, it can get really scary for women. He argues with his woman instead of seeking to understand the situation and make the necessary changes. This insecure man can’t handle conflict so he raises his voice at his woman and may even resort to threats of violence. A secure, confident man knows not to argue with women because he understands the feminine woman. He knows that arguing with her will only frustrate her and escalate the situation. The man who gets emotional and bent out of shape turns his woman off because at that point, he is acting in more of a feminine state. He is supposed to be her rock, a calm and self-assured partner that she can count on and submit to. With the weak man, she fears that he cannot control his emotions and this scares her. There’s no telling what he may do.

Like I’ve mentioned in my previous article, girls just want to have fun. They cannot always do this with a weak, insecure man because he doesn’t know how to remain calm in the face of adversity. He makes her feel frightened and unsafe because he does not know how to keep his cool. By focusing on his mission in life and striving to always be the best version of himself, a man naturally becomes self assured and competent. He then can separate himself from the emotionally unstable beta male.

Why Smart Women are Single

One of my favorite podcasts is undoubtedly Kinda Dating by Natasha Chandel. I truly enjoy the insight given and it helps open my eyes to other dating perspectives. In her 64th episode titled, “Why Smart Women are Single”, she discusses the dilemma of smart women who have a hard time finding compatible partners. Natasha and her guest, Jenna Birch, briefly touch on a subject that I’d like to expand on.

That subject is polarity.

To begin with, the women Chandel describes in this episode are not just smart, they are ambitious and career-driven women. These women are alphas; they know what they want and they work relentlessly to get it. Unfortunately, when it comes to dating, these queens are constantly attracting chumps who cannot keep up with them. They seem to always attract weak beta males and it understandably is a huge turnoff for these powerful, ambitious women. Why can’t they just find a strong man who’s a challenge and can match their drive?

The problem is that these women, whether they admit to it or not, have a masculine essence. The masculine energy is about breaking through barriers and accomplishing goals; it is essentially success and freedom driven. As a woman matures and takes on more responsibilities in life, it is necessary for her to shift from her more natural feminine essence into a more masculine essence. She has to take on a rough, enduring mental mindstate in order to overcome obstacles on her way to achieving the goals she has for herself. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this, it is quite commendable. However, when it comes to dating, it can get in the way.

Masculine energy naturally attracts feminine energy. It is why men are attracted to women and vice versa. If a woman is constantly in this grind mode state of masculine energy, then what would she naturally attract?

You guessed it: feminine energy.

This type of woman will always seem to attract weaker, feminine men: beta males. A man with a strong masculine essence will naturally be turned off by such a masculine woman simply because their energies will clash. The masculine woman constantly has her guard up, willfully ready to destroy any obstacle that gets in her way. This won’t work with a masculine man, who also has the desire to overcome obstructions in his pursuit of freedom. Her tendency to not only stand her ground but fight against any opposition (usually men) sadly leads to her being labeled as “a stuck-up bitch”.

So what’s a girl to do?

With a clearer understanding of how masculine and feminine energy works, this type of woman has two choices. Either she learns how to balance this masculine energy with her feminine energy or settle for dealing with feminine men.

The key to the first option is learning how to submit. Submission is not about being a pushover slave who does whatever they’re told; it’s about learning to let someone else take the lead. When dealing with a masculine alpha male, this type of strong woman needs to learn how to lower her guard and relax into her more submissive feminine energy. When dating, she should embrace the feminine energy which is focused on the cultivation of love. She should save her domineering, rugged mindstate for the workplace. When dating, she should let her strong man take the lead while she focuses on being the joyful, loving, nurturing woman that she is capable of being. This is the essence of the feminine. If she is unable to do this, she must understand that the only other option she has is to date weaker, beta males who have no problems with her leading the relationship.

A woman’s ability to accomplish her life goals and build the life of her dreams is admirable. It should be congratulated and praised. This type of woman taps into the masculine essence in order to get to where she wants to be and has to learn balance in order to have the type of relationship she wants. If she is incapable of embracing her feminine energy, then she is doomed to either deal with masculine men who frustrate her or weak men who can’t handle her.