Infidelity has been plaguing the dating world since the beginning of time. It is commonly perceived that we are now living in an era where loyalty is a myth; that things are worse now than they ever have been. Good women are getting cheated on left and right and it makes a woman wonder, “why can’t I find a man loyal to me? Why are all men such dogs?” Let’s dig into this.
First, let’s discuss how each gender is sexually stimulated. Men are visual creatures; they would be willing to sleep with a woman within minutes of meeting them because they are physically attracted and aroused. A woman’s sexual desire is more closely related to emotion. Although a woman can decide whether she would consider sleeping with a man after just meeting him, she’s less likely to do so because she needs to have a deeper emotional connection. Put simply, men are visual, women are emotional. Men are physically designed to desire sex more than women. I don’t want to get too scientific, but here’s a link to an article that further discusses this concept.
With that in mind, we now have a clearer understanding of what drives sexual motivation between sexes. A man is a hunter by nature . Generally speaking, a man’s primary motivator should be his mission. Whether this manifests in the form of finding food and shelter to ensure his own survival or spreading his seed to ensure the passing on of his genes, a man is always seeking progress. A woman, on the other hand, has a more intimate motivator. A woman’s desire is generally maternal; they seek to raise and nurture a family. That is not to say that ALL women only exist to raise a family or that ALL men only exist to go forth and multiply. I am just saying that these are our underlying primal instincts.
So what does this have to do with infidelity? How do I get my significant other to quit sleeping around?
As noted earlier, a man does not need the intimacy and connection of a relationship to sleep with a woman. His primal urge to conquer and break through barriers can help to explain his higher sex drive. Women do not necessarily feel this need to have sex, which is explained in this article. So the problem then becomes the institution of relationships.
I personally question the institution of monogamy. I am not sure that a one-woman-one-man relationship supports the natural order of things. I personally feel that it is not natural for a man under a certain age (we’ll say around 35-40) to be restricted to one woman because I believe it goes against our primal hunter nature. A man is likely to enter into a relationship with a woman for the simple fact that they will have the opportunity for steady sexual release. A man does not have to go out and seek sex if he already has a partner he can sleep with regularly. However, because lots of men will enter a relationship primarily for sex there is not much else keeping them committed. This opens the door for cheating.
Not all men cheat, but I agree that a lot (if not most) do. When a man cheats, he may not feel guilty because he was only seeking an instinctual sexual release with a new woman. He wouldn’t think too much about it because this interaction is purely physical. Have you ever heard a cheating man explain to crying girlfriend/wife “I only f****d that girl, I make love to you,”? A woman would feel devastated by this because she thought the intimate relationship between she and her partner was sacred.
So what can women do about it?
According to webmd, men’s testosterone levels (a key hormone in sex drive) starts to decline after the age of 30. So it can be deducted that a man will be less likely to sleep around after this age. This, along with the hassle of sleeping around and being deceitful, would actually make a man less likely to cheat. He simply won’t have the energy or the desire for it.
Look, I am not trying to condone cheating in any way. Cheating is a selfish and cowardly act and it is completely reasonable for a woman to feel wronged under such circumstances. By understanding that men are sexually driven hunters, women can hope to gain a little more understanding of why men sleep around. This can lead to less heartbreak and frustration. It is up to the man to refrain from entering a relationship just for steady sex, especially if there is any shadow of a doubt that he may want to sleep around. It is up to the woman to understand that up until a certain age, men are sex driven conquerors.
Why do you think men cheat? Is there any way to help reduce infidelity? I am curious to hear what you have to say in the comments below.